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Plinky and the Brain

14 Jul

Today, I encountered an interesting phenomenon named Plinky.

Plinky wants to be my friend. Plinky tells me that it will make my writer’s block go away and make it easy for me to

“create inspired content”.

Wow, thanks Plinky. Are you trying to tell me something about my current “content”? Why not just tell me I’m fat while you’re at it.


Plinky is insatiably curious about my thoughts and feelings on just about everything. To be honest, Plinky is a bit nosey for my liking. Not to mention a tad pushy.

“No Plinky account? Sign up!”

“Sign up below to get started!”

“To answer the prompt below, you’ll need a Plinky account.”

“Please give me your email address! Pleeeeeease!”

Jeez, Plinky. Have some self-respect, would ya? You’re embarrassing yourself.

In spite of all this, I think I kind of like Plinky. I suspect this is mostly because it is fun to say and also it sounds very like Pinky, which brings back some very pleasant childhood memories of Saturday mornings plonked in front of the telly.

“Whaddaya wanna do tonight, Brain?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky.


Obscure, you say? Pure brilliance, I say.

I’m playing hard to get. Well, kind of.

I didn’t give Plinky my email address. But I did spend a few minutes contemplating Plinky’s question of the day:

“What’s your favourite quote, and why?”

Well, Plinky. Interesting question. So many sources to choose from: literature, film, music, family (see below), friends, bloggers, civil rights activists, dumb-ass celebrities, crappy posters, crappier t-shirts…

Too many, in fact. I’ve changed my mind, it’s not an interesting question, it’s a stupid question that involves too much brain-racking on my part. What’s YOUR favourite quote, hmmm Plinky? Bit of a one-sided relationship, this.

At that moment, my attention was momentarily diverted as I noticed that someone nearby was watching Shaun of the Dead. Just as I turned to look, Pegg and Frost uttered the immortal lines:

Pegg: You want anythin in the shop?”


Frost: Corne’o [Cornetto].”

Bam, favourite quote. At least, at this moment in time it is. Do I really need a reason? I didn’t think so.

How’s that for inspired, Plinky? Smart-arse.

P.S. Shockingly, I could not find this clip isolated anywhere on YouTube. So the best I can do is give you the trailer and implore you to see the whole film in all it’s awesome-ness if you haven’t done so already.

Here is another great Nick Frost clip, for the craic.

Funny ’cause it’s true!


I Don’t Speak Culchie…But It’s Damn Entertaining To Listen

12 Jul

I recently attended an aunt’s birthday party that doubled up as a general family reunion.

You know, one of those events where you recognise roughly 35% of the people in attendance and everyone sits outdoors around a patio heater (regardless of gale force winds) and drinks solidly for approximately 14 hours while an army of children, loaded with carbonated sugary beverages, swarms about making as much noise as possible?


Maybe that’s just my family.


Anyway, there were some choice quotes throughout the day. Unfortunately, due in equal part to the considerable volume of alcohol consumed and the absence of my laptop and even my notebook, most have been lost forever. However, I don’t think I could ever forget any of the following conversations:

In reference to a patio heater:

“Ya could burn rubbish and young fellas and all sorts in that thing.”

(Uttered with no apparent ill-will towards any young fellow in particular.)

In casual conversation:

Do ya know black Joey down in Letterfrack?”

(In fairness there are probably many Joeys and relatively few black people in Letterfrack.)

My 20-year-old cousin’s career plan:

“I’m thinkin of makin coffins. There’s only one fella does them round here and I reckon I could do them cheaper.”

(Simple but brilliant. I am in awe.)

Conversation between a small child and his mother:

“Mam, can we get a hamster?”

No lovey, those are too expensive. They cost, ahem, €150.

“No they don’t Mam, I saw one for €10.”

“That one was dead, lovey.”

(Uttered with such unflinching sincerity that even I believed her for a minute.)


Because Sometimes It’s Fun to be a Positive Polly

11 Jul

So…apparently this is what a shamefully neglected blog looks like…

**Moving swiftly on…**

I have noticed that most of my (admittedly few) posts have fallen into the categories of Moans and Rants. With this in mind, here is a post devoted to

Great and Lovely Things

that have crossed my path in recent times:

His and Hers

Go and see it. Don’t ask too many questions, because the more I try to tell you how awesome a documentary about the ladies of the Irish Midlands is, the less you’ll believe me. Just take a chance, I promise you won’t regret it. However, beware that if you fail to shed a tear, I will forever believe that you, like my good pal Bert, are made of stone.

(Yeah, that’s right, Bert. Your pseudonym is Bert. You know why. Before you complain, think how much worse it could have been.)


So yes, His and Hers = fantastic. Also, if you happen to have a student card and be in Dublin on a Monday, you can see it in the Screen on D’olier Street for €5. Score!

A lil taste…

Inception Anticipation

(Inceptipation? Nah, sounds like an unpleasant medical procedure)

Continuing in a film-ish vein…

I’m not even gonna bother posting a trailer because if you’ve managed to stumble across a blog as obscure as this one, there’s no way you haven’t picked up on the hype for this movie. Hype for which I have abandoned my snobbish indie tendencies and thrown myself wholeheartedly into. Why, you may ask? Three excellent reasons:

Before I feel compelled to rename this blog, I would like to re-affirm that each of these beautiful gentlemen is a ridiculously talented actor and has an excellent track record of being in deadly films. Having said that, I’m fairly certain the film will disappoint, but for the moment I’m having a grand aul time being excited about it.

Tim Minchin

Isn’t he just wonderful? Thoroughly enjoyed his presence on the Jonathan Ross show recently, despite the enormous drag factor of…well, Jonathan Ross. Who else would begin an interview with the big ball of charming genius that is Minchin by talking about the weather? Sigh.

But then the Four Poofs gave him a go of their Piano and it was all good.

The Temper Trap

Got their album Conditions in the post the other day (yes, I buy CDs) and its just great. I’ve heard complaints that the songs all sound too similar – that’s okay by me as they all sound great. Okay, so Sweet Disposition has been used to advertise every product in existence over the past few months, but don’t hold that against them. Sure have an aul link to Love Lostit makes me smile!

(Whether this is despite or because of the misery of the subjects of the video, I am uncertain. Either way – greah song.)


In a truly drastic attempt to counteract some of my unhealthier habits and fill up some of my unemployed time, I have taken to a cross-country machine twice a day. To my complete surprise, I can now walk moderate distances without my lungs shrivelling up into painful balls of fire. I also feel generally more awake and alert for longer periods of time. Do people know about this amazing phenomenon? Someone should write a book about it or something.


Who the hell knows how I’m going to pay for it. But its happening! On August 10th, myself and at least three of my favourite people will be on a plane to Berlin to begin our interrail adventure.


I am awfully pleased and excited about this but will restrain myself at this point as it will most likely be the subject of many future posts. I will also attempt to forget for the moment that due to various constraints (collectively known as reality) I will have to return home after a measly two weeks. Ah well, better than a slap in the face, as my dear aul Ma would say.

And last, but most definitely not least…


Yes, you. God only knows what inspired you to take time out of your busy and fascinating life to read this, but you are both Great and Lovely for doing so.



21 May

My dog is sleeping in her box next to me and is clearly dreaming about chasing cats. She just gave a little bark, woke herself up, and is now looking embarrassed. Funniest thing to happen all day.